Weather

It seems that just as quickly as summer showed up, it has now left. It is a little nice not to be feeling the usual unbearable August heat, but with most of next week off of work... it would be nice if the weather would allow for some lake visiting that did not require sweaters or jackets.

Insomnia

It seems I can never sleep on the nights when I have to get up early the next morning, maybe it's just that it actually matters that I can't sleep on those days. Whatever the reason I will be quite exhausted tomorrow, esspecially if I can't get to sleep after this. Above you will find some of my personal favorites from my last batch of film. Pretty exciting, huh? So, I'm going to cut this short because I have to get up in four and a half hours. I just wish my head would stop going in circles, it's been at it all night, and I've already been on this train of thought so many times before, it just isn't fun anymore. Yet, it's still an unresolved and scary thought so it keeps popping in to say hello. I hope I'm making sense, I think I used entirely too many forms of description towards my thoughts just now.

Days

Days go by, one after the other, I never know what will happen as each one unfolds. It's always something interesting, or I think of it as interesting and exciting afterwards, most days. Some days though I wish I led a more exciting life, full of trips and adventures and exciting friends. But I think that I may already be leading that life I wish for on the boring days. Today for example, I did quite a few things, with the twelve hours I have now been up (yes, I got up at noon... my sleep habits are getting a bit ridiculous).

1. Re-organized photos on computer

2. Got film developed

3. Sent out birthday invitations (only 12 more days until my birthday, 13 until the party that is going to be amazing, it does not have a choice)

4. Looked through library books of photographs and took pictures of the pages with my favorite photos on them (that sounds so much more pathetically nerdy than I thought it would)

5. Helped my mom with the groceries

6. Helped clean and get ready for my family to go on a camping trip (I'm stuck here, working... yay? I'm kind of excited?)

7. Bought strawberries in the last ten minutes of the farmer's market (Holy goodness!)

8. Played a game of ultimate frisbee (and apparently was a little more aggressive than anyone thought I would be in my guarding technique)

9. Sat with some new friends around a fire and roasted marshmallows and ate s'mores (yum!)

10. Watched The Orphanage with Shawn (it was not as scary as everyone made it out to be, I really enjoyed it, actually)

That seems like quite a lot for twelve hours. At least to me it does. I can't imagine how people that are actually awake for the morning do it, they must be exhausted and actually able to sleep at night... weird. Oh, I think tomorrow I'll show you some of my film photos, they turned out much better this time (thank goodness it wasn't my camera).

Today

Today I feel like the summer weather is finally getting to me. It wasn't even all that warm out, I mean it was hot, but it's been warmer than it was today all week. I just want to be able to bundle myself up again, throw on some old beat up boots, or curl up in bed while I watch snow falling outside the window. I don't want to go back to Portland and school, I just want the weather to get cold again. I mean I do want to go back to Portland... it's mostly the school thing and all the uncertainties I feel when I think about that. Am I ever certain of anything?

Photo credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Perhaps this is all from my lack of sleep right now, though in the morning I will of had too much sleep. There is a bug flying around my room. I don't understand where it came from, it wasn't here just a minute ago.

Results

This is what has resulted from me staying up late and trying to create something I like. Which I was partly successful at. I just realized that I told Shawn today that I don't draw. Because I don't. Normally. And if I do they are not very good. I'm still a hypocrite, aren't I? Oh, well, I've gotten used to that. I think they look better in the pictures... which is a little sad... My favorite is by far the first one. Maybe I'll go to sleep now.

I've noticed that when I become very tired I either begin to ramble and use never-ending sentences, or, be short and to the point, like I was tonight, but now I'm getting rambly. Oh dear!

Late Nights

I was wandering through some old pictures and for some reason I really liked these three. They are all years old. But they are still somehow inspiring to me and I feel like they reflect something that I am trying to achieve in my photography. I don't know what that is.

I don't think I am going to sleep for a while tonight, though I have things to do tomorrow morning. I just want to make something... something I really like.

I wish...

This summer would last forever. I don't want to start thinking about going back to school or anything else. I'm happy just living each day seperately and not thinking about what is going to come in the future.