The Return

I've spent the last week or so (I got back to Portland on Tuesday night last week) doing pretty much nothing. I haven't been scheduled to work, I don't have school anymore, and there isn't much I really need to do (besides some chores that I have managed to avoid quite successfully. What I really want to do is go print in a darkroom. I want to spend my whole summer hidden away in there, learning through experience, teaching myself how to create what it is I actually want with my film. I wish I knew something about printing color film, I'd go do that in a heartbeat too. Since I don't though, I'm thinking I'll focus on perfecting my black and white printing. I have tons of photos from China, but I haven't gotten around to loading them onto flickr. I'll get to it soon, but right now I'm enjoying doing nothing and indulging myself in laziness. It's not something I always allow myself to do, especially not for this long. 

Busy

A random picture from the coast that I like...

A long and some-what boring rant-ish writing about my life as it is currently...


I'm not unhappy, just exhausted.. actually I'm pretty happy with my life right now, I just need to have a little more time somewhere so I can think about things and figure out what is coming next. Right now it seems as if I am living my life day by day. Most of the time I hardly know what it is coming the next day (or even what day it is). I'm enjoying my photography class and I've been taking pictures like mad but printing them myself in the darkroom is such a long process that I feel like I don't have much to show for all the photos I've been taking. Don't get me wrong, working in the darkroom is a really rewarding process. I probably would have been there at some point today if I wasn't out of paper. For our next assignment we have to take portraits which I'm a little worried about, just because I don't know who I'm going to take them of or when. I'm moving to a new apartment on Monday and not at all ready, but I have tomorrow free all day, so I think I'll be able to get some things done then. It just seems like I'm doing nothing but working, going to class, sleeping, and eating (occasionally, sometimes I seem to forget about this one) right now. Even on my days off that's all I feel like I'm doing (mostly because if I have a day off work, I still go to class/work in the darkroom/do homework/help people with things and when I have days off school, well I'm definitely working then). Luckily I should have a break soon. I'm not sure why I'm posting this right now... I just really need more time to have a life. I need to talk to people. 

Night

When I get tired I tend to like repetition. I repeat words over and over when I'm speaking or writing something and the same thoughts or bit of song will repeat in my head over and over. I try to avoid going to bed sometimes because of this, I don't want to give my mind time to settle down and find whatever is going to start repeating itself in my head. Especially when they turn out to be thoughts, because the thoughts that come around at this time of night, are the ones I spend the whole day trying not to think.

I started my photography class on Monday, I get to use the darkroom and actually develop and print my own work. I like it, I like seeing things all the way through a process, I like turning science into art. It's like magic. 

That is a pretty old photo up there.