Goals and Hopes

Here's the dealio: 
I don't make New Year's Resolutions and
I don't make set goals
But I do have vague goal-idea-hopes-things floating around my head.


Recently they've looked something like this:
Get better at photographing people
Start taking photos I actually like again
Get into/apply for graduate school
Go somewhere/do something exciting
Finish my degree
Get really really incredibly good grades (mostly because I know I can if I just actually try)
Make some connections for my future (work-wise)
Have friendships (not just friends I see once a month)
Get back in shape (it's been way to long)
Don't worry about what everyone is thinking
Write (creatively) more


Yeah, that's about it. 


The photos are from New Year's Eve. We had sparklers. It was kind of boring. And all my photos are awful. 

A River Runs Through It

Growing up I remember that there was a book of my dad's on fly-fishing. It was always out somewhere. I don't ever remember my dad going fly-fishing growing up but I know he had all the equipment for it, a fairly nice pole, flys that my aunt (his sister) had made him, and even the hat. When I was in high school I learned to fly-fish in one of my classes, I even caught a fish. It was a rewarding and new experience and I wish that I had had the opportunity to do it at some time earlier in my life. I just watched A River Runs Through It for the first time, and I am surprised that I had not seen it before. I'm sure it's a movie my dad likes, so much of it reminds me of him and also of what I want my life to be like eventually. I'm not the kind of person who loves living in a city. I like it, it's fun and there are some things that are great about it, but really I want to live in the woods one day. Just be out there away from people with the trees and a river and some mountains and live. Just enjoy the parts of the world where I feel most at home. I think that's something that my dad and I have in common, although we've never really spoken about it, I think he prefers to be outside, away from people. As I've gotten older I've come to realize that I'm a lot more like him than I ever thought, but there are some things about him that I will never be like. When it comes to fly fishing though I want to do more of it, I want to be out in the woods more, I don't want to spend all my time in the city.

Sent to my brother

As I briefly mentioned a while ago, my brother and I send pictures back and forth to each other, trying to outdo each other. Well, to be honest, I send more than he does. But I thought that I would share some of the more interesting things I've seen and shared with him lately.

Yeah, this actually happened in the store... I couldn't believe it.

When my brother was living with my dad and I was in Portland last year my mom made a ham that she and my step-dad had gotten as a gift... they ate ham everything for just about a month... (so I actually sent this to her, but I still love the pic)

It's hard to tell but the crane is actually moving port-a-potties... oh yeah.

A strawberry shaped like a tooth!

I was bored in class this morning... I realized later I should have written 'oh deer' instead.

Yes, I sent my brother a picture of my foot. Because my chaco tan is beginning to show and it's gonna be AWESOME by the end of the summer.

People

Sometimes people really annoy me. My psuedo-aunt (she's my stepmom's sister, so we aren't really all that related) told her niece (in my terms, my psuedo-cousin) that she looked "so grown-up" the other day when I went to dinner with them and some other family members (psuedo- and real). She then turned to me and said, "Not you, you still look like a little girl." To which I responded, "I'm only 19." Which is true, I am only 19, I spend most of my days going to class, studying for class, or scooping ice cream, most of the time, I don't need to be all that grown-up looking. Although I have realized more and more lately, that in just a year I will be out in the world as a college graduate and I might want to look a little more grown up then. Today, when I needed a break from writing about German history (actually it's just the history of a German island but I have to write it in German which makes my head go into over-drive after a while) I decided to see if I actually do look grown-up at all when I try. Which, is a lot of fun for me, I get to get out of my T-shirts and jeans and try and look nice, because in reality I'm wearing a plaid shirt and some cords today with a pair of tennis shoes. I should also mention that Alli's weekly feature of what she is wearing and her statement about having outfits that just don't work out today kind of inspired this as well, you can check out what she's wearing (along with various other things) over at One Pearl Button.  I'm going to caption these pictures because I think they're kind of awful and it's more fun for me.

I was frustrated by the set-up of my room not being good for taking pictures not in a mirror so I gave up and used a mirror. Also, please ignore the mess on my floor. 

I really love these shoes... my pasty legs... not so much.

Awkward half-showing-my-teeth smile.

School... bleh.

I'm so sick of this week, I don't have enough time for everything I'm supposed to be doing. I can't spell anymore. I can't even think anymore. Even going for a swim didn't help. I feel like a snowball rolling down a hill, I keep gathering more and more stuff and then eventually I'm going to hit a tree or a wall or something and break apart into a zillion pieces. On the bright side, after tomorrow all of the stuff I've gathered up should start to melt away (if we want to stay with the stupid snowball idea). In other words I'm a giant ball of stress and it isn't going to get better for a while, but it will start getting a little bit better after tomorrow.

In other news, my brother and I have been sending each other random pictures to try and make each other jealous throughout the day lately, it's pretty entertaining. He just sent a picture of Tang and I countered with a girl scout cookie. Yesterday though he sent me a picture of murdered snowmen, which I just couldn't possibly counter. Speaking of Tang... does anyone else remember those random commercials with the Orangutans for Tang? I never understood why there were Orangutans until a couple of years ago (which I know is pathetic, but it's not as if that is how you actually should pronounce it or anything).

Sorry... I'm rambling... This is me trying to avoid writing a "term paper" (when you have two weeks to do all the research and write it is that really a term paper? I think it's more of a final project that could have used the entire term to actually be a good project). Right, I'll stop boring everyone with all the things that are flying around my head.

Home and snow

I went back to Bend for Thanksgiving and today it snowed for just a little bit, I was so excited I jumped up and down in circles while squealing. It's stopped for now, but I still am happy to have seen it.

Baking, Knitting, and other "Domestic" Activities

When I was a much younger person my step-mom used to jokingly call me "her domestic diva" or "her little housewife." I think she may still be convinced that of her five children, I'm going to be the first to have kids. That isn't all that likely since her two oldest sons are five or six years older than I am. I also have been thinking about what I want in my life and having a family has really moved down the list in the past few years. I want to enjoy my life before I "settle down." Not that doing that means you can't enjoy life... for some reason I feel like I'm digging myself into a hole... Anyway the entire point of that little story was... well, ok, there wasn't really a point, it just has to do with me spending the past week knitting and cleaning, and then having a riveting Friday night of baking banana bread. Needless to say, I don't have much of a life right now.

Oh and unfortunately, I had a small casualty due to flour inhalation while baking tonight. Ok, I'm probably the only person that finds that funny.

Sneaking

As I was looking around flickr today, trying to find some inspiration for this, I came across this photo by one of my favorite flickr-people-finds. I thought it was slightly appropriate after last nights post and the comment that was left on it. Perhaps I just have a strange sense of humor. I actually honestly wish I had antlers sometimes, it would make carrying things around so much easier and I would be so much less likely to forget things.

Anyway, I have to say that it is strange to have my parents back in the house (although it is their house, so it does make sense). They are light sleepers so if I am up and about after they have gone to bed I have to sneak around where ever I go. Normally, I like to sneak, but when there is an actual reason to... well it can get a little tiring. Like right now, I am really hungry, but I know that if I get up, go downstairs, search around the kitchen for something to eat, come back upstairs, eat, and then brush my teeth again; that I am bound to wake someone up. I'm just not stealthy enough for this. I guess this means I really should give up any hope of becoming a spy.

Darn.

There is something exciting happening tomorrow though! My brother is coming home to Bend to live. Now I'll have someone to go on adventures with when Shawn is busy doing something stupid (like working... who does that?). Not that I ever really go on real adventures anyway, but I like to consider anything I do an adventure, so having Dillon here simply means that I will have someone to help entertain me whenever I am bored. Anyway, in addition to this, I am going out to sushi tomorrow night, hopefully... and maybe doing something with Shawn at some point? I'm not exactly sure, planning out days ahead of time isn't exactly my forte. Oh, dear, I almost just made a really crappy band joke with that last comment, it's time for me to sleep.

Dress-Up

I love raiding my mother's closet. We are similar sizes, though her legs are a bazillion times longer than mine (as are most people's). Tonight I found a couple of things that I could not help loving. These sailor pants which are, I admit, too big for me but so adorable I could ignore it if I somehow end up with them in Portland, no idea how that would happen... and this faded pink polka-dot ruffly blouse... I am sighing just describing it. I also found a plaid button down shirt and a belt that reminds me of the ones I fell in love with recently. Sorry if you seem to be missing some clothes when you get back, Mom.

Oh, and excuse my bad photos and modeling, please.

The Weekend

My weekend was filled with family, cars, allergies, and happiness. I'm not sure if I feel like elaborating right now, but I think I will, just because I'm not going to be able to sleep for a little while and need something to occupy my time (oh, the joys of insomnia!). Anyway, this weekend was my great-grandparents's 70th wedding anniversary! Now that is something to aspire to! Anyway, this means I headed over to the valley (I'm sure most people have no idea what I'm talking about when I say that), for their party. While I was there I also visited my grandparents who own the adorable car that I will say more about at a later time in the first picture. I spent my favorite time of summer days, twilight, in their beautiful garden and snapped a few pictures between my sneezes and sniffles. Today, after driving home, I went to see that certain someone, who I need to come up with some kind of short, easy nickname for on here. Anyway, we spent most of the day together just getting to know each other better, I think that is the best part of any relationship, just sitting and talking with someone for hours without having to worry about anything and learning things you wouldn't otherwise learn. He also lent me a copy of Alice in Wonderland which I have been meaning to read since I was about nine, so I will now, finally, be able to take that off my list! I hope that everyone else in the world had as good of a weekend as I did (I already know of a few people that didn't, but I'm hoping they are the only ones).